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The Stages of the Pay-Cheque for Millenials

The Stages of the Pay-Cheque for Millenials

You have probably received your pay-cheque for the month, or are about to in a day or two. Which is why,  reading this hopefully will make you laugh instead of invoking grief or tears. Once caught in the web of what millenials refer to as “adulting” there is no escaping. Your timelines, plans and most other things in life are structured around the much awaiting pay for the month. And from the day you receive it, to the day you realize you are broke, there are a few distinct stages. Here is summarizing the five distinct stages of the pay-cheque.

Stage 1 – Around the 15th of the Month

Somewhere around the middle of the month is when your pocket starts to feel lighter and you realize that you have started to make plans with your next pay, already! This is also the stage where you indulge in self-shaming, by telling yourself that you have, once again, successfully sabotaged your ‘saving’ plans and plan on salvaging it best you can.

Stage 2 – Around the 23rd of the Month

This is the stage where you “really” make up your mind to be prudent with your earnings from now on, and save money from the next month. All of a sudden it strikes you that you are in your late twenties and don’t have a single proper financial investment to your credit, and that snowballs into a different level of existential crisis – now a mixture of financial, emotional and just everything conceivable because life hits you smack on your face.

Stage 3 – Around the 25th of the Month

Your account balance is currently about Rs. 88.56. It is so sad that it’s actually funny. This is when you start living on leftovers, and cancelling any and all weekend plans. You make your peace with staying in and watching Netflix – unless, you’ve been too broke to pay for the internet! The situation is dire and you start feeling jealous of your friends who are still living with their parents – at least they have free access to unlimited good food!

Stage 4 – Between the 30th – 2nd

This stage can also be referred to as the ‘dance of joy’/ ‘I am so rich’/ ‘YESSS’ stage. That beautiful moment when your salary gets credited to your account and you get a text message informing you of it. It would be safe to bet that we are all so proud and overjoyed with those monthly texts that we don’t delete them. The week that follows the pay-day is when we believe we can afford everything we may want. We also realize that the money was spent in our head long before it hit our accounts, because of the several plans pinned on the month’s salary. Old habits do die hard.

Stage 5 – Around the 15th of the Month

Your account balance has steadily diminished yet again – the rent has been paid, the maid has been paid, phone bills, internet, grocery and a zillion other things you never thought you’d have to pay for. And then of course, all the things that you want and don’t need.

And here we are again. Back where we started. And so continues the endless vicious cycle. To end on a positive note though, if you love what you do, all of this becomes worth it! Happy adulting folks!

5 Funny Things that May Happen to You at An Internship

5 Funny Things that May Happen to You at An Internship

Internships form a really important part of our pre-world of work days. No one can dispute this fact. It is true that internships give one a taste of what it would feel like to work full-time in the chosen sphere, and help you make your mind up about whether or not you would want to pursue the particular stream. Despite all its advantages and benefits (even the most irrelevant things come in handy, in retrospect!) an internship can be a comical affair. and here are five ways how –

  1. The most important task of your internship may be to copy paste

    You may be an intern in the Ministry of External and Foreign Affairs, and yet feel like a silly goose there. Looking back to the day of your interview, which may have felt like the most important day of your life, you might wonder how flawed your expectations were. As interns we all make the mistake of assuming or hoping that we will be entrusted with really important work. A month (or several of them) may pass by and you realize all you’ve done is copy paste / re-type documents.
    But hey! Perk up, because only an intern would have access to these documents, and hence a cart load of learning material!

  2. You could be the minion – and you can’t do anything about it

    Coffee and running other errands for your superiors may form a significant portion of your day. And you can’t do anything about it. No, we won’t say that there is anything inspirational about this. Neither are there any pearls of wisdom to share about this. Its just funny. Because its true.

  3. The unavoidable existential angst

    In the journey of your internship, at least once (if not more!) you will be gripped by a terrible existential angst. You will ask yourself  questions like “what am I even doing here?”, “will I ever get a real job?”, “will I ever be as good as these people?”. It’s funny because you are going to look back at those moments and realize you were being silly. Well, maybe we are wrong in calling those moments silly, because these are the moments when perhaps you come to terms with certain unsettling facts, and questions. These moments build up towards other important life decisions and choices. So, while we can’t say enjoy it while it lasts, what we can say is, this too shall pass.

  4. Money? What money? It is the experience that counts

    Ha ha. This is by far the funniest thing that happens to an intern. You realize most (if not all) of your pocket money gets depleted in trying to ‘afford’ the internship – because you don’t get paid. And hence, you have to take care of the travel and your lunches, and the get-togethers (your ‘colleagues’ will probably invite you so you don’t feel left out) you most definitely cannot afford. And when you pop the question about whether the internship will pay you, at the interview, you are most likely to receive a poised and sophisticated answer like “no, but we will offer you unparalleled experience.”
    Okay, then.

  5. When you “pretend” to be busy and get caught

    Few things can be as embarrassing as the CEO (or a superior) walking in on your screen while you are shopping on Amazon (lets hope that’s the most embarrassing it gets!). As an intern, there is only so much work you will have. Then again, as an intern, you most definitely cannot leave before time. So to be fair, you might have been just killing time; but for ages to come you will love with the guilt of coming across as a slacker. But hopefully you will look back and laugh at it, because it is funny!

Find these things relate-able? Tell us how! Have funny things happened to you as an intern? Tell us about all the goof ups, we might as well have a good laugh, if nothing else!