Life Archives - Page 6 of 7 - Sincera Consulting

Five Mood-Killers that Stop you from being Happy in the Now

by sincera | Apr 28, 2012 | Life, Managing Yourself, Motivation

The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things. ~Ernest Dimnet~

More and more, I have come to realize that happiness is a choice; it lies inside us just waiting to be tapped and is not something that we will get if so-and-so happens.

So what stops up from being happy in the now? If Happiness really is a choice, what can we choose not to do so that we feel good inside all the time? I think it sums up to these five attitudes or mood-killers:

Mood-Killer #1: Comparisons (Measuring yourself by other’s standards) – Why oh why do I not have what he or she has?

Mood-Killer #2: Dissatisfaction (and not Appreciating what you have) – I wish I was a perfect…….

Mood-Killer #3: Dependence (Playing the victim) – If only he or she did or did not do this or that, I would be so much happier…

Mood-Killer #4: Boredom (Not getting a Life) – I have nothing to do, nowhere to go and the whole world is a drab, dry place…

Mood-Killer #5: Worry (the What-If game) – Oh no, the world is going to end in 2012, what if I cannot charge my cell-phone?

So, shed a few tears if you will, stop that thought process there, get into your groove and DO HAPPY!

Much has been said about this and here are a few of my favourite quotes that best describe what I have learnt:

If you are not happy here and now, you never will be ~Taisen Deshimaru

How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now, and there will never be a time when it is not now~Gerald Jampolsky

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling ~Margaret Lee Runbeck

Happiness is an inside job ~William Arthur Ward

Five Strategies to be Happy in the Face of All Odds

by sincera | Mar 12, 2012 | Career, Life, Performance, Productivity

Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging ~ Joseph Campbell

Have you ever wondered how some people seem to sail through their lives with a smile on their lips and a song in their hearts come what may? Look around you and you will be sure to find inspiring people at work or at home who on the surface of it may have no plausible reason to be cheerful but still manage to be focused, positive and motivated (so much so that it can make you want to gnash your teeth sometimes 🙂 ). Do you think life has given you a raw deal and you cannot possibly be happy in the circumstances? Well think again, because it is all in the mind and you can actually train your mind to be happy – NO MATTER WHAT!

Research has shown that people who cultivate a positive mind-set and stay happy cope and perform better in the face of challenges in their personal and professional lives. Here are some tried and tested strategies that can lift up your mind and heart instantly even when it’s all gloom and doom around you :

Strategy #1: Keep Moving Forward – What is the worst that could happen? Confront the thought. Come to terms with the fear or anxiety that you are experiencing. Let it go and experience the power of release. Also dwelling on the “Why me” question is really pointless. Think and focus your energies instead on the “what” you need to do next to make the best out of the situation. Multiply tiny pieces of time with small steps of daily effort and watch yourself getting happier.

Strategy#2: Count your Blessings – Often, we spend so much time fretting over what has gone wrong that we forget to be grateful for our blessings and tend to take them for granted. No matter how hard the situation is, there is always a blessing or two in there somewhere, be aware and be grateful to trigger your happiness. And if you can’t think of a single good thing about the situation, remember what Helen Keller said: The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike. It teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

Strategy#3: Share a Smile – Laughter is an instant pep-up and it becomes even more special when shared. It is hard to laugh and cry at the same time, eventually laughter takes over, sadness dissolves and cheerfulness takes its place. When you are feeling low, just reach out to people around you, and make someone happy to feel much happier yourself. Consciously avoid negativity and being in the company of people who add to your misery.

Strategy#4: Dig into your Memories – Sift through your life experiences to pull out the ones that brought you joy. Savour them again and share them with your dear ones to flood your thoughts with happy feelings. Here is one memory from the poetries of my childhood that never fails to bring a smile to my face:

“For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.”

~ William Wordsworth

Strategy#5: Celebrate the Little Victories – In the midst of pain and misery, it is important to celebrate the small victories of faith, love and effort to be happy in the now. It doesn’t take much for us to make a big deal of small upsets, why is it then so difficult for us to be happy in the little things that bring us joy ? Look for these victories every day in your life and enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes with each and every one. The more you celebrate – the more things you will find worth celebrating.

What tips and tricks have worked for you to stay happy even in difficult times? Where do you go for inspiration? It would be great to hear and learn from you and your experiences – we all need big doses of happiness in our lives.

Five Lessons in Customer Management from Hospital Operations

by sincera | Mar 4, 2012 | Business, Leadership, Life, Management, Performance, Productivity

I have spent the last week living in one of the best hospitals in the country and there has been a lot to observe, watch and learn, especially in the area of customer experience management. Life and death scenarios, ambulance sirens, dazed patient attendants and teary eyes are not exactly conducive to a brain functioning well enough to pick up the nuances of management; but I was alternately awed and disappointed enough with the experience to take away a few lessons that are applicable in all service-oriented businesses.

Lesson #1: Empathize – It is easy to get into the “it’s just another customer” attitude but keep in mind that the customer is a unique individual with his or her own hopes and fears. You have to treat every single customer with compassion and respect. You could be a super surgeon but unless you empathize enough with your patient and get into her shoes, you will never be informed enough or trusted enough to succeed in your job. A simple pat on the shoulder indicating that you understand and are there for the patient often times works better than a hundred words of technical jargon.

Lesson #2: Be the Cog in the Wheel – Sometimes, you just need to follow the rules and do the best you can in your own sphere of influence without knowing or worrying about the big picture. The moment and the deed are enough and just what the customer needs at that time. An attentive nurse, a caring cleaner and a cheerful security guard – they are not tasked with saving lives – but their roles and competencies in the tasks assigned to them make a huge impact on the whole patient experience. And of course, the management also has a responsibility to treat their people well so that they in turn are motivated to treat customers well.

Lesson #3: You are the Expert – The customer is not always right. And you, as the expert that the customer has come to for a solution, have a duty to be assertive and convince the customer about the solution that you believe is the best for the customer. A patient may choose for the least painful and quickest route for a cure but a doctor is the best person to advise the patient on the right solution which may not be the easiest for the patient to go through.

Lesson #4: Grace under Fire – In high pressure situations, it is so important to keep your mind clear and your temper even to ensure that you take the right decisions to serve your customer the best.

Can’t say this better than Rudyard Kipling who wrote –

“If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

. . . If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same . . .

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it.”

Lesson #5: Transparency begets Trust – Your customer is part of your team too and has a right to know all aspects of the situation – good or bad. Do not operate in a black hole. Take time to communicate the goal, the plan and the pros and cons of the plan clearly to the customer to empower her to make an informed decision. For a patient, there is nothing more frustrating than not knowing or understanding why she is being subjected to more treatments (and pain). Explaining to her and letting her know the plan makes her feel that she is in safe hands and be a more willing participant in the process.

“This world is your best teacher. There is a lesson in everything. There is a lesson in each experience. Learn it and become wise. Every failure is a stepping stone to success. Every difficulty or disappointment is a trial of your faith. Every unpleasant incident or temptation is a test of your inner strength. Therefore, nil desperandum*. March forward hero!”

― Sivananda

*nil desperandum (Latin): nothing must be despaired at

What scenarios or personal situations have made you to reflect on customer management? What would you have done better? I would love to know.

P.S: Heartfelt gratitude to my twitter and online friends who have given me so much love and support and prayers for my mom.

Five Ways to Ride the Waves of Change – Being Happy In The Now

by sincera | Feb 27, 2012 | Business, Career, Life, Managing Yourself, Motivation

The old maxim – Change is the only Constant – has so much of truth and wisdom in it. There is no such state as “settling down” anymore – be it in your personal life, beliefs, career or business. Just when you pause to reflect – O.K, now I can sit back and relax, life has a way of throwing a curve ball at you. For those (me included) who like to be in charge or in control of almost every situation, this can be extremely stressful and sometimes bewildering. But there will always be events, interactions and decisions that you did not expect or have no control or influence over that could have a large impact on your life. I have now realized from my experience that asking the “Why” question in such situations is not very helpful – there is no clean answer to that. What does help however is asking the “What” question and that invariably leads to answers to keep your head afloat and ride the waves of change.

Here are five ways that have worked well for me to ride the waves of change that I hope you can relate to as well:

Ride the Waves of Change #1: Accept the Change –

This is the first and most important stage of managing change – don’t get sucked into reactions like the blame game, frustration and worst of all, burying your head in the sand like the ostrich, hoping that the problem will go away. We prolong the struggle when we do not accept the reality of change – accept it to move on to strategizing how and what you need to do next.

Ride the Waves of Change #2: Be Patient –

Give yourself some time, don’t react immediately. Decisions or actions taken in the heat of the moment have a way of coming back and biting you. Let your feelings flow, get over the emotional turmoil and clear your mind. There is a lot of value in giving yourself a quiet period when you are in distressing circumstances. Alternate possibilities emerge when you cast off whatever it is that has weighed you down.

Ride the Waves of Change #3: Tap into your Support System –

You don’t have to face everything alone. Talk to the right people, listen to suggestions, share your troubles and be open to help. “Ask and you shall receive” really works. Whether it is for a job reference or mentoring or simply prayers, reach out to people around you. My mom’s illness has made me realize how much a caring word (or even a tweet/mail from across the world) can comfort and help put things in perspective.

Ride the Waves of Change#4: Take care of yourself –

Change brings in stress in your life, and stress takes energy. Don’t add to it. Set aside time for things that comfort you and bring you peace – get enough sleep, go for a walk, curl up with a book or listen to music. Replenish your energy levels and get fit to confront all challenges and demands on you. Work on yourself to learn to live with uncertainty.

Ride the Waves of Change #5: Look inwards and prepare for the next change –

Admitting that we aren’t in control, in good times or bad times, is a very personal and painful process. It involves examining your beliefs, your value systems and many of the things that we take for granted. But whether, we know it or not, each of us has personal values that can serve as anchors to help us ride out the storm. Trusting in ourselves, in life, and/or in a super power are a few starters on the path to acceptance and grace.

These are all thoughts and ways that we generally don’t delve into in “normal” times but are exactly the kind of things that we need to think and work through to bring in greater self-realization and the inner strength to be resilient in the face of whatever life throws our way and happily ride the waves of change.

How have you coped with changes in your personal life or at work? I would love to learn from your experiences.

An Idea is not enough for Success… Five more lessons from Steve Jobs

by sincera | Jan 29, 2012 | Business, Leadership, Life, Managing Yourself, Motivation, Performance, World of Work

I have never met Steve Jobs, nor worked with him, nor ever interacted with him remotely. But his products touched a chord and I have followed his life journey as closely as the new product launches every year. Maybe more so, simply because almost two decades back I shared the same dream i.e. Touch lives with Technology and make it so seamless that anyone anywhere can use it. Today a three-year old kid uses the technology intuitively and a 70-year old grandpa no longer fears the machine.

For years, I have lived with my dream. Steve had the passion to follow through. That is the difference.

I learnt from Steve that dreams simply give you a false sense of illusion – it’s how you translate that dream into a goal that sets you apart.

I learnt that an Idea is not enough – an idea is just the beginning, the real work starts after that. I learnt that it is enough to start with a broad vision, and let the details evolve. I learnt that the difference lies in how strongly you believe in the idea and (more importantly) what commitment you make to take it forward.

The 5 biggest lessons from Steve Jobs that I learnt and would like to emulate:

Lesson #1: The Passion to make a Difference – The desire to touch lives and the inspiration to make a lasting impact.

Lesson #2: The Perseverance and Courage to Pursue – To keep going despite all odds & contradictions. To always look for alternatives even when the full picture is not clear yet.

Lesson #3: The Self-belief and Conviction to be Different – The foresight to challenge conventional wisdom. The ability to manage inertia and overcome resistance.

Lesson #4: The Focus on Simplicity – The goal to constantly improve usability and drive the experience. The acceptance of using Technology as a means and not as a goal.

Lesson #5: The Pursuit of Perfection – The willingness to admit mistakes and change course even late in the game. Striving always for the best possible.

Most importantly I learnt that achievement is not built around creativity or innovation, but realized through painstaking execution.

I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.

Steve Jobs, Interview, 1995

Today’s post is written by Arti Khanna. Arti combines more than 25 years of technology and business experience in communications to look at emerging trends and incubate new initiatives in communications and applied verticals. Connecting the dots between market dynamics and strategy is her specialty.

What other lessons have you taken away from Steve Job’s life? Have you ever moved an idea to execution? Do you plan to? How do you translate your ideas into plans for action? We would love to hear back from you.

Five Pointers on Working harder on Yourself than you do on Your Job or Business

by sincera | Dec 31, 2011 | Career, Life, Managing Yourself, Motivation, Performance, Productivity, World of Work

This year if there has been one quote or advice that has STUCK with me, PUSHED me and HELPED me in my career and life – it is this:

Work harder on yourself than you do on your job ~ Jim Rohn

This does not mean that you not give 100% to your work, it just means to focus 100% on yourself first – the value then that you bring to your job or business or family increases hundred–fold. The more you work on yourself, the better things get in every sphere of your life. I have tried and tested these results on me and many others in my extended teams this year meeting with great success. So how do you incorporate this philosophy of working harder on yourself in the daily rat-race?

Here are five pointers to help you achieve this:

Pointer #1: Self Examination – Sorry but as I said it all starts with the Self. This is not about looking in the mirror and asserting that everything is great. As someone wise said : The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. Focus very specifically on what things you need to improve on – is it your self-confidence, your ability to plan and be organized, your writing or speaking skills? Identify the areas and drill down further to the HOW. We are lucky to have amazing resources available on the internet on any topic that you could think of and many support groups to egg you on to achievement. Try http://www.marcandangel.com/ – a personal favorite. Tap these sources well.

Pointer #2: Be a Life-Long Learner – Lifelong learners tend to love what they do, or they at least find some aspect of it to love. Learners love the challenge, if nothing else. It’s the learners who question the status quo, shake things about and are innovators. And of course getting rewarded at their jobs or business is an inevitable side benefit as learning keeps you current and relevant. There are two parts to learning – staying current and learning a new skill. Keep some time aside for reading, there is a plethora of blogs that you can subscribe to – my no.1 recommendation is Seth’s blog which certainly shakes you out of complacency. Another great resource is the HBR site – on any given day, you can definitely find an article that captures your interest or simply browse through the archives. Learning a new skill will help you expand your capabilities – enroll in an online course and make good use of your company’s training department.

Pointer #3: Be Yourself- Realize that You are in control. We all have our own standards of excellence. We also have different priorities and what motivates me to put in 100% won’t necessarily be the same for you. Whatever your own standard of excellence is in your work, whatever you feel passionately about – that’s what you should be true to. Don’t stop doing or keep doing stuff just because some of your colleagues’ standards of excellence are lower than yours or their priorities are different. Your measuring stick for your own achievement should be based on what you want to achieve, not how much or little other people are doing. What excites you most? Feed that passion and find ways to align it with your work responsibilities.

Pointer #4 : Avoid the Negative(And Reinforce the Positive) – What makes you feel tired and drained – it could be people, thoughts or activities. If you want to maintain a positive attitude, consider sharply limiting your daily exposure to such experiences. Don’t show up at the daily complaint sessions at work. If you’ve got family members who are constantly negative, tune them out. Your happiness lies within you – trite but true, practice happiness every day, make it your sacred ritual. No matter what you do for a living, the key to success is great performance, every single day. And that’s only possible if you make optimism, energy, and enthusiasm part of your daily experience.

Pointer #5: Help Others Succeed – I read a beautiful Zulu proverb recently that says it all: “Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu”- A human is only a human because of other humans. We’re all interconnected! Your Success is assured and becomes more meaningful when you help others succeed. Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows. The more you give of yourself in anything, the more you get in return – especially when you give with no expectation of return. Too often, we build islands of ourselves cutting ourselves off from people who we can learn from, grow with and share life’s experiences. Do what you can for other people, work hard at building relationships. It is a sure shot method to help you become a personal and professional success and live a fulfilling life.

The inspiration for this post came from my mom and a few of my favorite people at work and twitter (you know who you are) while talking about what’s worked and what has not in the past year. Let us strive to be not just good but a little better in the coming year. Do what you love and love what you do.

How do you incorporate this philosophy of working harder on yourself in the daily rat-race? Do share your experiences on what has worked for you in the last year, the one experience or learning that you are taking with you into the future.

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