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Office Etiquette: What No one Tells You About – Everything Feminism Isn’t

Office Etiquette: What No one Tells You About – Everything Feminism Isn’t

by | Oct 6, 2015 | Managing Yourself, Office Etiquette, World of Work

The word “feminist” is used, or rather, misused, ever so frequently. Most of our misconceptions stem from ignorance of the term. Feminism, is not about those misconceptions (which we will get to, in a bit), it is a political stance, and ideology one subscribes to because it believes in equality of the sexes – social, political and economic equality. Eons of patriarchal society have made it essential that some extra effort be made towards bridging the gaps between the two sexes. Feminism, as a movement and revolution came about in ‘waves’ and each one of us is connected to it in one way or the other. Unfortunately, mostly people understand feminism through the stereotypes constructed around it and not what it actually stands for. A little learning is dangerous, and if your understanding of women and women’s rights is (mis)informed through a warped understanding of feminism, apart from affecting your personal life, it can play a crucial role in defining the work-place dynamics for you as well, and not in a positive way. So we chose to write about this touchy topic for our Office Etiquette series. Read on to find out if this is what you thought feminism was about, and stand corrected!

  1. It isn’t about hating men – The most popular misconception. If you are a feminist, you must hate men. Absolutely not, in fact, as stressed earlier, feminism is about “equality of both sexes” and not about the female sex superseding the male sex to reverse the politics of domination. If anything, it is about creating equal opportunities, so that both men and women have equal access towards fulfilling their aspirations.
  1. Yes, a man can be a feminist too – Just because the word “feminism” or “feminist” is derived from “female”, it doesn’t mean only a woman can be a feminist. This is also another ridiculous misconception stemming from ignorance. A man can be a feminist too, if he believes in equal rights for men and women and believes that it is time the world made efforts to make way for the ladies who have been intentionally pushed back so far.
  1. Feminism isn’t about making noise and rallies – Does the word conjure violent images of bra-burning and extreme incidents of male bashing? Well, we won’t say it is in your imagination, it really did happen. However, the very cause of this post is to say that it shouldn’t have happened because that isn’t what feminism is about. Some actions are symbolic, however, one shouldn’t be led to believe that is all that feminism is. It goes beyond symbolism, it is an ideology, a way of life, a habit where being “fair” precedes everything else.

 

  1. All feminists don’t believe in marriage: It is a myth – Marriage is a personal choice and has got nothing to do with being a feminist. This stereotype is closely related to the first one, about feminism being about hating men. Therefore, they do not believe in the institution of marriage. What feminists do not believe in is the ‘unfair’ institution of marriage, in which the woman is relegated to doing the household chores simply by virtue of being a woman, while the man takes on the world. Marriage in a feminist perspective is an equal partnership.
  1. All feminists are lesbians (of course it is a myth!) – Yes, because they hate men they are all lesbians. Well, thankfully there are people who do find this ridiculous, and thus there is some hope that there will be balance in the world. Of course all feminists aren’t lesbians! You choose what ideology you want to subscribe to, however your sexual orientation is definitely not a matter of choice. It is who you are. Being a feminist does not automatically make you a lesbian, or for that matter, vice versa. Both are quite independent of each other. And we’ve got to admit, shedding clarity on this fact has been especially embarrassing – to think people actually would believe this!

 

Branding women as “feminists” is quite a common thing, even for women to say they are feminists without understanding what it actually means isn’t any less common. By no means is this post targeted only at a male audience. Equal number of women believe in these stereotypes of what feminism means and would swear to live their lives by it. We are sorry if we come across as excessively caustic in this post, however, it is only from experiences on debates about feminism and what it entails, at the workplace that we seem to be a little wary. Next time, you “accuse” a co-worker of being a feminist, or say that you are a feminist and hence you dislike men, remember why you would come across simply as an ignorant person who doesn’t know the first thing about feminism! Being wrong about this concept can land you in a number of foot-in-the-mouth situations in your professional life, and God save you if your boss is a true-blue feminist!

 

Five Practices to be a Rockstar Trainer – Towards Creating Successful Learning Experiences

Five Practices to be a Rockstar Trainer – Towards Creating Successful Learning Experiences

by | Aug 15, 2014 | Business, Career, Managing Yourself, Performance

The problem that many organizations face today is not a shortage of people in the market, it is a shortage of skills.  Research in Corporate Learning tells us that organizations suffer from a “skills supply chain” challenge. Not only do more than 70% of organizations cite “capability gaps” as one of their top five challenges, but many companies also tell us that it takes 3-5 years to take a seasoned professional and make them fully productive (Bersin Feb’14).

Shift Happens

So if you are a trainer, you are in quite an empowered position. A position of responsibility. And one of creating change – in peoples’ skill sets, their world views, the trajectories of their work and lives. Good managers and mentors need to be good trainers as well. But for the sake of this post, let’s stick to trainers and the practices that can make trainers empowered to deliver successful trainings – trainings that can expand the learning minds.  By the end of this post, I believe that you will agree with me that these practices can be applied to other positions of responsibility as well. For this post, I invited Nilisha Mohapatra to share her learnings from her experience as a trainer and as a trainer of trainers.

Each one of us at some point has interacted with a trainer and learned with them, mostly in a professional setting.  Trainers can be for a wide range of skills – from technical skills like agile methodologies, six sigma, process improvement, to soft skills such as communication, leadership and confidence. Trainers abide by content and experience, and whatever be the training, the objective is ultimately the same – to add value to an individual’s experience and expand her horizon.  Being a trainer myself, there are a few important things I have learnt over time that have helped me become more effective as a trainer, creating sharp impact. No matter what the training session is about, it is the uniqueness of the trainer’s methodology and approach that makes the difference between a Boring Brain-numbing session and a Useful Brain-expanding session. And to allow that edge to come into play, there are five things that I keep in mind always. Here they are:

You are a Facilitator. The trainer approach is somewhat passé now. A facilitator by definition is someone who creates a space for the group to come alive in, for collective learning to happen through group processes. A facilitator may or may not be subject matter experts. Even if they are, the practice is never inclined towards lecture-driven learning. It is more about creating an experience. Facilitators trust the group’s collective wisdom and take part in shaping skills through sharing of power and balancing group dynamics. I quite enjoy this approach as this allows me to blend with the group, breaking hierarchies. I view trainings/workshops as a developmental processes where my objective is to enable the participants with a new lens/skill. This process of enabling I believe is one of mutual participation, as opposed to a traditional directive. Hence, I am at a workshop to facilitate learning. Not give it.

If you feel you are listening enough, know that there is more to listen to. Listening happens at multiple levels. More so at the non-verbal levels. Many a times I’ve found a huge difference between what participants share vs what they really think. Try finding signals that can bridge the gap to create genuine and unique learning experiences. Resistant body language, sheer silence, questions, argumentative or defensive tones, extremely high or low energies are some indicators I always look out for.

The more you accept, the more change you can create. It is tough to take a neutral stand always as facilitators.  Being non-judgmental is a challenging skill to nurture, and requires a lot of unlearning. The key to being non-judgmental lies in acceptance.  Validating each person and just accepting their points of view, doubts, resistances, success, makes them feel heard. And then they move towards change of behaviour and skills by acknowledging the new direction suggested in the training. It is a buy-in process. I have had struggles with this. Each time I have not practiced acceptance, the learning has been incomplete or ineffective. Asking curious questions to understand, allowing a variety of opinions into the space, and solid breathing are ways to practice this. As I have accepted, I have changed. And as I have changed, so has the group. Visualize your mind as an open bowl, which keeps filling with what you experience, and never over flows. Be the light and not the critic to let the learning happen.

Change is a tumultuous process. Even in the easiest or safest of environments. Haven’t we all experienced change and been overwhelmed by it? So how can we expect a group of people to just take on something new in a jiffy, without any resistance? Shunning old ways is a mammoth task. A new skill needs practice, on top of all the other skills. A new programme needs testing. A new behaviour needs strengthening. All this needs time and is met with road blocks. Reminding myself of this process of learning has helped me be a more supportive facilitator instead of a demanding tyrant!

Everything that happens in the workshop is a process of feedback. The old saying of what goes around comes around plays out beautifully in a workshop. Always. Whenever I have given in more energy and life to the training, the participants have come alive, sharing more of their energy. When I have shared stories of my own learning and skill building process, that has helped me establish credibility and helped the participants understand the process of learning. If my tone, ideation, validation has been flat, I have only been met with blank faces. This is the potent feedback process that plays out in training, and it helps to be aware of it.


As I understand today, these practices are primarily about training myself first, before I try to engage someone else in a learning process. Isn’t that where the magic starts? In my experience, as and when I have put these practices to use, the more I have been able to unravel about human potential development. This has become my Pandora’s Box for workshops.  And people in leadership positions who have chosen these practices are some of the most charismatic and influential leaders I have known.

We would love to know what your thoughts and experiences are on enabling learning in workshops and in your teams. We look forward to hearing and learning from you.

Nilisha is trained as a Mentor Trainer, delivering complex training to Indian volunteers learning to become mentors to disadvantaged children. She has a Masters in Applied Psychology and has transformed herself into a creative and inspiring trainer who both taught acceptance and behaviour change as well as living the principles in her training. This is Nilisha (@NilishaM)’s sixth guest post for Happy In The Now and you can read all her blogs at fantasycluster.wordpress.com

From Managing to Leading – Five Attitudinal Shifts To Become An Inspiring Leader!

From Managing to Leading – Five Attitudinal Shifts To Become An Inspiring Leader!

by | Apr 22, 2014 | Business, Career, Leadership, Life, Management, Managing Yourself, Performance

Why is it so difficult to find great leaders in the world of work? What is the missing element that makes most super achievers fall short of being super leaders or mentors? What does it take for a skilled manager to become an inspiring leader as well and why do so many managers fail to make this leap? In this disruptive world, there is a burning need for leaders. Much has been written on this topic but there is always space for a new perspective. For today’s post, I invited Nilisha Mohapatra to share her insights on this topic. She has studied and worked in the Human Potential Development field and is a keen observer of people in work environments.

A few thoughts on management and leadership from John P. Kotter before we move on to the insights – he has said that “leadership and management are two distinctive and complementary systems of action” and that “leadership complements management – it doesn’t replace it….strong managers produce predictability, stability and order, but leaders create, communicate and implement visions of the future, which enables companies to change themselves in a changing competitive marketplace.”

Organizations are all about its people – which is why, a lot of research has gone into understanding what motivates people! This breadth of on-going research and innovation underlines one fact for me – that people management is the most crucial and most dynamic aspect of an organization. It is difficult too, because there are people involved. So many of them!

So how does one make the shift from managing people to leading people?

There are no cookie-cutter fixes for people management. The more I mull over this, I realize that for me it is all about attitude shifts that we need to bring about, rather than finding tricks for success. It all starts with the mind-set. As Gautam Buddha says, ‘The mind is everything. What You think, You become.’
Let this saying be our Pole Star for this blog post.

Here are my five cents to answer this big question:

1. People are capable and able of owning their careers and their lives. They do not need to be ‘managed’. I believe, all people need, is active mentoring and inspiring leadership. Each individual has a Pandora’s Box of talent within them. I mean it. All it takes is a nudge here, a push there, humaneness and occasional guidance, to unlock this. I have known a lady who continued in a data entry job for 10 years because her seniors believed her capability rested there. The moment she received mentoring to try out something new, she soared. Today she is a successful artist, creating social change using various arts media! This happened when she was at the receiving end of trust, acknowledgement of strengths, encouragement for risks, and effective role modelling. This approach is a belief system shift. It can create magic.

2. Respect people for the choice they make to work with You. The part about the choice here is to believe that many people take up their jobs because they want to do that work. They are drawn to it, have a passion or vision for it. They do not just take up a job for the sake of it.  It is for us to really respect this very choice and nurture it. They choose to join You in the journey/trajectory of your organization and career, to work with you. Not for you. With You. If we can accept and value this, it will go a long way in the team members really having a sense of purpose in their careers, feel more valued and encouraged to contribute more. Engagement will sky-rocket.

3. Invest in people’s learning, and let them grow. At every point of our careers, we all need to learn. We grow because we learn. The higher up we go in our careers and seniority, the more privileged we are to work with increasing number of people. At that point it is then our responsibility as Mentors to facilitate the same kind, or even better opportunities than ours, for our team. Believe it or not, the learning is going to reach you eventually. The beauty of your experience comes into play when you mentor such growth. Investment can be in the form of allowing them to experiment, implement multiple ideas, unleash their creative thinking etc. When you can, create opportunities to invest in your team’s growth. You will foster high performance!

Be instrumental in polishing uncut diamonds.

4. Appreciation: Criticism = 4: 1. It is a scientifically proven fact by psychologist John Gottman that we need to have a 4:1 ratio of positive comments to negative (four acknowledgments for every one correction) in all relationships to have a healthy one. As mentors, we need to LIVE this. This practice really allows you to validate and acknowledge each of your team members for their work. They will feel seen and heard. What is wonderful about this practice is how it opens up the space for each person to receive constructive feedback and accept the room for improvement. If we want them to do more and be more, this would be a great place for us to start with. Genuine validation is all it takes. Start with 3:1 and then get to 4:1.

5. Be Authentic. Be real and allow the person that you are, to come through in your interactions. This is a great way to build a trustful and synergetic environment in your team. This for me is also purely about walking the talk, and leading from within. If you want to motivate someone to be more accountable, you yourself have to take on the next level of accountability. Want your team to take more risks? Demonstrate risk taking. Set the tone with this authenticity. That way everyone knows that You as a mentor will always have their back!

Over time as I have discussed these ideas with people I meet, I have been told that such mentors are a rare breed indeed. And I understand why it is so. Because this is a conscious and persistent choice we are talking about, which will undo years of conditioning, which might have its roots in the beginning of the Industrial Revolution! But I firmly believe that with these five attitudinal shifts, we can really transform the landscape of ‘people management’ into ‘people mentoring’. And that is the need of the hour.

“We all need to be leaders, regardless of our formal title or role. This starts with inner self-leadership and moves outward to influence, guide, support, and lead others. The process of becoming a leader is the same as the process of becoming a highly effective human being. Leadership development is personal development. Leadership ultimately shows itself in what we do “out there.” But it starts “in here.” “~Jim Clemmer – Growing the Distance

Be your indulging mentor. Let it start with you, because You Matter! I believe that the choice to start a phenomenal trend, lies with You. So let it roll!

What have we missed ? What are your observations on making the shift to inspiring leadership ? Nilisha and I would love to hear back and learn from you.

Nilisha is trained as a Mentor Trainer, delivering complex training to Indian volunteers learning to become mentors to disadvantaged children. She has a Masters in Applied Psychology and has transformed herself into a creative and inspiring trainer who both taught acceptance and behaviour change as well as living the principles in her training. This is Nilisha (@NilishaM)’s fifth guest post for Happy In The Now and you can read all her blogs at fantasycluster.wordpress.com

 

Pic Courtesy :

http://www.theolivebranchblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/lead-by-example1.jpg

Five Ways to Survive and Thrive during Organisation Structure Changes

Five Ways to Survive and Thrive during Organisation Structure Changes

by | Nov 24, 2013 | Business, Career, Management, Managing Yourself, Performance, Productivity

It starts with tremors and before you realise what is happening, the ground starts shaking violently under your feet and there you are in the middle of a major seismic activity hanging on for dear life to your seat. Hold on – I am not talking about cyclones, tsunamis or earthquakes of the natural kind. I am referring to the ground-shaking encountered during organizational structure changes. If you have ever worked in the corporate world, you know the kind I mean…. A quarter or two of underperformance and you can almost guarantee that the phrase “need for change” starts appearing in management communication. Unfortunately, this drive for the need for change usually does not focus on looking at the customer value creation, the business strategy or the execution gaps. The target is usually a few leaders and some shuffling of positions and responsibilities here and there at the top levels and maybe an acquisition – all under the banner “organizing for success”.

That’s all good (actually not, this is shifting the problem elsewhere and maybe creating a new set of problems but it’s a topic for another day) but in a hierarchical organization which majority of orgs are still – this is very unsettling for all the layers of people below. And given that org changes are the norm and hiding under your seat or the blanket at home till the dust settles down in the hope that things will turn out ok in the end could be an option, there is a better option as well and that is – to Be Prepared.

I consider myself a veteran at this org change business having gone through some 25 odd organization transitions in my career – some of which I just about survived and some in which I thrived. So here is my checklist of tips on coming out a winner in such transitions:

Tip #1 – Be an Intrapreneur: No matter which layer or function you are in the structure, always be a leader.  The security of a good job in a big company often brings in a sense of complacency.  In today’s scenarios, this complacency is very very risky for your career. If you were an entrepreneur or working in a startup, what would you be doing? Hustling everyday, that’s what – because what exists today might not exist tomorrow. So bring in that hustle factor into your job everyday – work for today. As Jim Rohn said – work harder on yourself than you do on your job or business.  Be an intrapreneur – an entrepreneur within your organisation. My mentor, Entrepreneur David K Williams, shared the four essential traits of an intrapreneur – read here. Do your best work and keep yourself relevant and you become sure of yourself and the fear of changing bosses, changing teams, changes at workplace will not be a fear anymore.

Tip#2 – Be Visible:  Doing great work and no one other than your immediate boss and your team knowing about it is not going to help you when your boss changes or your team changes. Much as you may hate the idea of it, you have to promote yourself. As I have written in one of my earlier posts, this was a hard-earned lesson for me. I had always believed that my work will speak for itself and rewards may be delayed but will never be denied. But then, who knows what tomorrow may bring? You cannot afford to be shy if you want your work to be recognized.  Be aware of your worth and don’t settle for less. You have to be your own marketing manager and actively market the value that you bring in to your manager, department and organization. Make sure people know who you are and what you do. Make your achievements and contributions visible as and when they happen and not just list them at appraisal time.

Tip #3 – Help Others: The single most important thing that you can do for your career is to help others in their careers. Read that line again – it is true. In life or in work, what you give is what you get. Its extra work I admit but the benefits far outweigh the efforts. I have always held the belief that real assets that we build at work are the relationships – you don’t lose these when you switch jobs or lose jobs. All the career advice about having a strong network around you is right – but it starts with an attitude of helping, of giving. Be the go-to person – be the first person that people around you think of when there is an issue to be resolved or a problem to be solved. You become an asset for your boss, your team and you company. And being an asset gives you plenty of leverage during an organizational transition – it gives you the negotiating power to tap the opportunities that the transition may bring.,

Tip #4 – Collect Mentors: A good mentor is invaluable for your career success. A mentor can be someone in your corner when you need some additional support. And if you have one within the company, she can protect you when things go wrong, propose you for great assignments and be your own internal reference. Look around you to find people who you admire and are role models for where you want to be. Don’t limit yourself to one mentor. You might look to one for domain expertise, to another for industry expertise, and yet another for personal scenarios when you need practical and helpful advice or brainstorming. And if you are lucky to find a great mentor, invest in that relationship and make sure that you too offer support when your mentor needs it.

Tip #5 – Be Aware: Of the work that you do, of your worth, of the games around you and of what is right. This Career Manifesto by Michael Wade says it all:

1. Unless you’re working in a coal mine, an emergency ward, or their equivalent, spare us the sad stories about your tough job. The biggest risk most of us face in the course of a day is a paper cut.

2. Yes, your boss is an idiot at times. So what? (Do you think your associates sit around and marvel at your deep thoughts?) If you cannot give your boss basic loyalty, either report the weasel to the proper authorities or be gone.

3. You are paid to take meaningful actions, not superficial ones. Don’t brag about that memo you sent out or how hard you work. Tell us what you achieved.

4. Although your title may be the same, the job that you were hired to do three years ago is probably not the job you have now. When you are just coasting and not thinking several steps ahead of your responsibilities, you are in dinosaur territory and a meteor is coming.

5. If you suspect that you’re working in a madhouse, you probably are. Even sociopaths have jobs. Don’t delude yourself by thinking you’ll change what the organization regards as a “turkey farm.” Flee.

6. Your technical skills may impress the other geeks, but if you can’t get along with your co-workers, you’re a litigation breeder. Don’t be surprised if management regards you as an expensive risk.

7. If you have a problem with co-workers, have the guts to tell them, preferably in words of one syllable.

8. Don’t believe what the organization says it does. Its practices are its real policies. Study what is rewarded and what is punished and you’ll have a better clue as to what’s going on.

9. Don’t expect to be perfect. Focus on doing right instead of being right. It will simplify the world enormously.

10. If you plan on showing them what you’re capable of only after you get promoted, you need to reverse your thinking.

 So what do you think? What tip did I miss? Tell me your story – I would love to hear and learn from you.

Pic Courtesy:  Scott Adams – http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1997-11-22/

Be Sensible, Be Kind – Five Things Not to do on Social Media during an Impending Tragedy

Be Sensible, Be Kind – Five Things Not to do on Social Media during an Impending Tragedy

by | Oct 12, 2013 | Life, Managing Yourself

India and the world are holding their breath waiting for the super-cyclone Phailin to hit land. The storm has strengthened at one of the fastest rates ever recorded, going from a tropical storm to a category 4 cyclone in only 24 hours. On Friday (Oct. 11), it became the equivalent of a category 5 hurricane—the strongest on the American scale—with sustained winds of 160 mph (260 kph). That official wind speed has tied Phailin with the devastating 1999 Orissa Cyclone which killed more than 10,000 people—currently India’s strongest storm ever. Cyclones in India are the same as hurricanes in the United States — different words for the same thing – as reported by ‏@EricHolthaus Lead Meteorologist & Weather Editor for@weathermob & @qz.

In Twitterverse, #Phailin is trending and I have been following this hashtag since the last two days. I am from Orissa – the state which is expected to bear the brunt of this cyclone. I am at a distance from all of my loved ones back at home and thanks to Social Media can get live updates from people on the ground and the experts. Social media has expanded our worlds allowing us to access firsthand accounts, share worries and express our faith and solidarity in the face of tragedies. Smartphones and platforms like Facebook and Twitter allow us to “be there” while not being there. It becomes important then to be more aware of our roles and words on these platforms – to be responsible world citizens.

As I read through all the tweets and posts (most of it useful), what strikes me and makes me angry is the sheer stupidity and insensitivity of some of the tweets. Tragedies are personal and it could be difficult for some people to “get that” sitting at a distance. We saw this happen during the Tsunami in Japan and other major events since social media became popular. Though this post, I want to spread the word to be kind, be sensible, be sensitive and be responsible in the way we use social media in the face of such events. Since I am more of a twitter user, I take some tweets from the past 48 hours as examples of what not to say or do during an impending crisis:

1)      Rumour Mongering: It is scary enough already, do you really need to add to the stress ?

2)      Callous Humour:  Humour is good, but seriously ? Talk about bad timing

3)      Politicize: Now is not the time to add politics to the mix, definitely.

4)      Heckle and Hate: I hate you, too, thank you. Please stop this nonsense.

5)      Advocacy and One Up-Manship: Yes, we know you have a Cause. But can you please get down from your platform for now ?

To sum it up, if you don’t have something useful to say or share – Don’t. Let’s cut the noise and allow the information to filter though.

My thoughts and prayers with the people on the east coast of India. And gratitude for the administration, army and volunteers braving it on the ground for crisis management. Let’s hope this will indeed turn out to be a zero casualty event and not a tragedy.

Picture courtesy – https://twitter.com/EricHolthaus

Five Life-Altering Philosophies from Calvin and Hobbes – Happy In The Now

Five Life-Altering Philosophies from Calvin and Hobbes – Happy In The Now

by | Aug 18, 2013 | Life, Managing Yourself, Motivation

Have you ever experienced how the simplest of things can trigger and unfold a whole world of profoundness, weaving itself into the weft and warp of our lives? Be it a gesture, a remark, or a few words, they sometimes leave behind an impression on our lives that last for ages. One such thing that has gone a long way to rearrange my perspectives on life is the timelessness and wisdom of Bill Watterson’s Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin’s conversations with Hobbes have become life lessons for thousands around the world, and I am no different. Having read and re-read numerous Calvin and Hobbes comic strips over the years, I realize that through its humour, simplicity and wisdom, it has become one of my guides to understanding life.

Here are five life altering philosophies that are landmarks of my journey with Calvin and Hobbes, and have contributed to making me what I am today:

Philosophy #1: Curiosity does not kill the cat!

Calvin cannot stop thinking about things and happenings around him, and neither can I. It is his musings about life, relationships, school, parenting et al that has made me a reflective person. I cannot comprehend how people stop thinking about things when there is still so much to know! Delving into Calvin’s explanation of phenomena around him has exposed me to a world of humour, perspectives and a different culture of thinking. Needless to say the perils associated with being a thinker cannot be discounted for. But the depth I’ve gained is priceless!

Philosophy #2: The best things are learnt outside of textbooks.

Calvin’s rebellion in Ms. Wormwood’s class has been my biggest source of joy because it resonates with one of my beliefs which I value most: Learning through experience is powerful, life changing and everlasting. Texts books are only meant to clear exams. It is also this belief of mine that got me my job! The constant effort to evolve as a better human being in any role we play is only enhanced by life’s lessons, and not through chapters or pages. Any experience holds in it the magic wand of transformation, and when embraced, it helps us become the architects of our own lives, designing our own big picture.

Philosophy #3: Play saves the day!

No matter what happens, each day in Calvin’s life has an element of play in it. Only then does he consider it worthwhile. When practiced, I found that I could not let go of this habit. And over the years, play for me has taken different forms. Today I like to indulge in a variety of activities like writing, music, cooking, running, painting, or anything that gives me a sense of immense joy and satisfaction at the end of the day. Though the child in me wishes I could graze my knees more often!

Philosophy #4:  Express. Not suppress.

Calvin’s favourite form of expressing how he feels is through snowmen. It seems strangely cathartic, and I love it. Unfortunately I live in a country which doesn’t get snowfall. But learning from Calvin’s bravado, I consistently use various forms of expressing myself. Predominantly it is through blogs or colours. And I have found it to be extremely liberating. This practice has helped me deal with days when “even lucky rocket-ship underpants don’t work”. Brings things into perspective!

Philosophy #5: There is treasure everywhere.

What amazes me constantly by this last Calvin and Hobbes strip is the feeling it leaves the reader with. This very piece is what has inspired and triggered my love for travel. Every time I read this I feel a great sense of wonder and it pushes me to explore all the possibilities that await me. I have come to realize that I’d rather save up to travel and see the world, than trade the experience for ‘things’. The explorer in me thanks Calvin for instilling and reinforcing this outlook.

Though when Bill Watterson ended the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip in 1995, he said he had contributed all that he could, for me the Calvin and Hobbes School of Learning does not end at all. The reason I picked these five today is because I have constantly made an effort to live these and it has changed me. So now I welcome you to dive into the goofy world of Calvin and experience the magic. Pick your favourites and share with us your experiences through Calvin and Hobbes. We would love to relive the magic with you!

This post is dedicated to the genius of Bill Watterson. In eternal gratitude.

This is Nilisha Mohapatra’s (@NilishaM) third guest post for Happy In the Now. Her two previous posts are “ Five Steps that help me be Here and Now – Being Mindful and Happy In The Now” and “Five Life Skills that give wings to your Career”. Nilisha is a Post Graduate in Applied Psychology, and is a content designer and trainer for Transformational Programming and Life Skills development.

P.S : I love Calvin and Hobbes too !