Office Etiquette Archives - Page 4 of 4

Office Etiquette: 5 Things NOT to Say to a Pregnant Colleague

by sincera | Oct 15, 2015 | Communication, Communication Skills, Managing Yourself, Office Etiquette, World of Work

Motherhood, and the whole experience, isn’t an easy one. And it can get especially tough for pregnant women at the workplace, warding of uncomfortable questions and awkward comments on a daily basis. Usually, talk about personal life and sex is off-limits at work, and this topic falls in the gray area in between the two. Knowing what you can and can’t say to a pregnant co-worker can be a little tricky. It all begins with awareness, and the fact that you are interested enough to know more, does earn you a brownie point. Respecting her privacy and personal space is key here. Read on to find out more about the things NOT to say to a pregnant colleague (irrespective of your gender!).

1. Was the baby planned?

This can be an uncomfortable question for her to answer, since you are asking her a particularly intimate one – about her contraceptive choices! While you may ask it very innocently, it may not be as well received as you would expect. Besides, imagine if the answer is “no”, wouldn’t the conversation get particularly awkward then?

2. You look huge, are you expecting twins?

This question has great potential to be regarded as an insult. Under no circumstance is it acceptable to make a comment on the size of a pregnant lady. They already have enough trouble negotiating all that extra body mass without people pointing it out! Another thing worthy of mentioning here is, never assume someone is pregnant just judging by their size, unless they’ve explicitly told you they are. Even if someone else has told you a co-worker is expecting, it is best you reserve any comments about the same, lest it lands you in an uncomfortable situation.

3. Are you excited about your maternity leave?

Not a very sensitive thing to say, since a maternity leave does not exactly equal a vacation, unless sleepless nights and nappy changes are your idea of a vacation! If given a choice, to deliver the baby without all that preparation, she would choose to work than take the maternity leave, any day! She’s having a tough enough time without having to respond to comments like these.

4. You should have this. You shouldn’t have that.

You know how when you have acne, you have hundred different people giving you all kinds of advice? Mostly stupid advice. This is almost like that, only much worse. Trust this that she is more concerned about her health and her baby’s health than you ever will be. So let her, and her gynecologist decide what she should or shouldn’t drink or eat!

5. Can I touch your belly?

Just saying that sounds so gross. Imagine how uncomfortable she will feel if she really doesn’t want random people to be feeling her bump, but says yes just to be polite! It’s different if she is excited enough to ask you if you want to feel the baby kicking. You might ask with warm intentions but it is best not to ask, since again, this being an extremely intimate experience, she may not want people touching her tummy all the time.

Things that you can say though (and that she will appreciate hearing from you) : a heartfelt wish – “I am so happy for you – congratulations!”, a genuine compliment – “you look awesome!” or a sincere offer to help – “Can I get you something from the cafeteria ?”.

Five Career Strategies to Maximize your Potential and Performance on your Job

by sincera | Oct 12, 2015 | Career, Leadership, Life, Management, Managing Yourself, Motivation, Office Etiquette, Performance, Productivity, World of Work

Do you believe that the Performance Appraisal systems in your workplace actually work for you? Chances are that you don’t and you are in “good” company here. A study done by Sibson’s Consulting found that Only 30 percent of the study respondents (750 individuals, primarily senior-level human resources (HR) professionals) reported that their employees trust the performance-management system. Given that formal performance appraisals don’t seem to be working as well as they should to give employees their due, one needs to take charge of his/her career and have a self performance management system in place to ensure career growth and commensurate rewards. Just being good at your work, efficient and cooperative is not enough – it takes more than that to grow and be successful at the workplace today no matter what your job role or level is.

So how does one take charge of their own performance management and hence the rewards arising out of it? What practical steps and behaviors are needed at the work place to ensure a positive outcome at the job? Here are five career strategies drawn out from my experience and analysis with my team and peers of what works:

Career Strategy #1: Work Hard AND Smart – Yup, there is no escaping working hard if you want to be successful. People on the outer edges of the performance bell curve are usually workaholics. But you also need to be smart here – learn to say no to work or assignments that do not fit into your goals early on. Else you are sucked into the vortex of work alcoholism with no real benefit to yourself – doing work that you do not enjoy doing helps no one in the long run. If your heart is not in it, you will not be performing at your best levels. So choose wisely and then be 100 % dedicated to your work.

Career Strategy #2: Promote yourself – This was a hard-earned lesson for me. I had always believed that my work will speak for itself and rewards may be delayed but will never be denied. But then, who has time to wait? You cannot afford to be shy if you want your work to be recognized. Be aware of your worth and don’t settle for less. You have to be your own marketing manager and actively market the value that you bring in to your manager, department and organization. Make sure people know who you are and what you do. Make your achievements and contributions visible as and when they happen and not just list them at appraisal time. A good way to keeps track of your achievements is also to make your resume a work in progress document that you keep updated as when you achieve a milestone.

Career Strategy #3: Get a mentor or two or three – The advantage of having a mentor at your work (or outside) is multifold. A mentor can help you see a situation differently, identify your key skills and where you need to develop yourself and be someone in your corner when you need some additional support. Look around you to find people who you admire and are role models for where you want to be. Don’t limit yourself to one mentor. You might look to one for domain expertise, to another for industry expertise, and yet another for personal scenarios when you need practical and helpful advice or brainstorming. And if you are lucky to find a great mentor, invest in that relationship and make sure that you too provide support when your mentor needs it.

Career Strategy #4: Build a network early on – “No man/woman is an island” as they say and in the work scenario, this is amplified. Build a strong and trusted support system of peers at your work place. Draw upon each other’s strengths to get ahead and for back up when you need it. Stay close and vent, strategize and have plain and simple fun within your group. I have also found this to be a good antidote to fight against any negativity (read office politics) in the environment. As you move up in your company or switch jobs or roles, be proactive in building your contact base and staying in touch. You never know who may be of help in boosting your career (and this works both ways) and serendipity often strikes when you are prepared for it. Social media makes this easy nowadays and LinkedIn is a great place to achieve this. There is rich content on the web on maximizing your returns from LinkedIn and here is one from an expert to get you started (http://dngraham.wordpress.com/2012/03/07/five-points-to-consider-before-participating-on-linkedin/).

Career Strategy #5: Keep Learning and Stay Positive – Being a lifelong learner is essential for your career success when skills, technologies and market requirements are changing so rapidly. Not only do you need to be open to new experiences and keep learning to convert your weaknesses to strengths but also to be current and relevant in today’s job market. Set your own training goals for the year and make sure that you keeping adding new skills and knowledge to your repertoire. Limit your exposure to negative environments and people – these are energy suckers and if you are not careful, you would soon be working on fulfilling someone else’s agenda instead of your own. Remain positive and true to your own performance plan and keep moving forward on the goals that you have set for yourself – so much more productive than being distracted by negative office politics or complaint-sessions.

Maximizing your performance and potential on your job needs you to take control of your own career plan – be the CEO of YOU Inc. Be fiercely intentional about where you want to be, know your worth and be BODACIOUS (one of my favourite words – meaning a combination of Remarkable, Courageous, Audacious, Spirited) at work.

I leave you with these words from Abraham Lincoln: Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing.

What would you add to the list above as necessary strategies to Thrive and not just Survive at work? What has worked or not worked for you? I would love to hear back and learn from you.

Office Etiquette: What No one Tells You About – Everything Feminism Isn’t

by sincera | Oct 6, 2015 | Managing Yourself, Office Etiquette, World of Work

The word “feminist” is used, or rather, misused, ever so frequently. Most of our misconceptions stem from ignorance of the term. Feminism, is not about those misconceptions (which we will get to, in a bit), it is a political stance, and ideology one subscribes to because it believes in equality of the sexes – social, political and economic equality. Eons of patriarchal society have made it essential that some extra effort be made towards bridging the gaps between the two sexes. Feminism, as a movement and revolution came about in ‘waves’ and each one of us is connected to it in one way or the other. Unfortunately, mostly people understand feminism through the stereotypes constructed around it and not what it actually stands for. A little learning is dangerous, and if your understanding of women and women’s rights is (mis)informed through a warped understanding of feminism, apart from affecting your personal life, it can play a crucial role in defining the work-place dynamics for you as well, and not in a positive way. So we chose to write about this touchy topic for our Office Etiquette series. Read on to find out if this is what you thought feminism was about, and stand corrected!

It isn’t about hating men – The most popular misconception. If you are a feminist, you must hate men. Absolutely not, in fact, as stressed earlier, feminism is about “equality of both sexes” and not about the female sex superseding the male sex to reverse the politics of domination. If anything, it is about creating equal opportunities, so that both men and women have equal access towards fulfilling their aspirations.

Yes, a man can be a feminist too – Just because the word “feminism” or “feminist” is derived from “female”, it doesn’t mean only a woman can be a feminist. This is also another ridiculous misconception stemming from ignorance. A man can be a feminist too, if he believes in equal rights for men and women and believes that it is time the world made efforts to make way for the ladies who have been intentionally pushed back so far.

Feminism isn’t about making noise and rallies – Does the word conjure violent images of bra-burning and extreme incidents of male bashing? Well, we won’t say it is in your imagination, it really did happen. However, the very cause of this post is to say that it shouldn’t have happened because that isn’t what feminism is about. Some actions are symbolic, however, one shouldn’t be led to believe that is all that feminism is. It goes beyond symbolism, it is an ideology, a way of life, a habit where being “fair” precedes everything else.

All feminists don’t believe in marriage: It is a myth – Marriage is a personal choice and has got nothing to do with being a feminist. This stereotype is closely related to the first one, about feminism being about hating men. Therefore, they do not believe in the institution of marriage. What feminists do not believe in is the ‘unfair’ institution of marriage, in which the woman is relegated to doing the household chores simply by virtue of being a woman, while the man takes on the world. Marriage in a feminist perspective is an equal partnership.

All feminists are lesbians (of course it is a myth!) – Yes, because they hate men they are all lesbians. Well, thankfully there are people who do find this ridiculous, and thus there is some hope that there will be balance in the world. Of course all feminists aren’t lesbians! You choose what ideology you want to subscribe to, however your sexual orientation is definitely not a matter of choice. It is who you are. Being a feminist does not automatically make you a lesbian, or for that matter, vice versa. Both are quite independent of each other. And we’ve got to admit, shedding clarity on this fact has been especially embarrassing – to think people actually would believe this!

Branding women as “feminists” is quite a common thing, even for women to say they are feminists without understanding what it actually means isn’t any less common. By no means is this post targeted only at a male audience. Equal number of women believe in these stereotypes of what feminism means and would swear to live their lives by it. We are sorry if we come across as excessively caustic in this post, however, it is only from experiences on debates about feminism and what it entails, at the workplace that we seem to be a little wary. Next time, you “accuse” a co-worker of being a feminist, or say that you are a feminist and hence you dislike men, remember why you would come across simply as an ignorant person who doesn’t know the first thing about feminism! Being wrong about this concept can land you in a number of foot-in-the-mouth situations in your professional life, and God save you if your boss is a true-blue feminist!

Office Etiquette: 5 Guidelines for Working in a Shared Space

by sincera | Sep 6, 2015 | Communication, Office Etiquette, World of Work

Being “cubicled” is a professional reality, at least at some point in time in all our careers. We spend hours tapping away at our keyboards, like human woodpeckers, and it is only natural that we will, once in while want to take a break and interact with our neighbor, listen to a song, take a phone call. What we seldom realize is we may be doing things (whether we’re working or taking a break) that are coming in the way of other people’s work. Also, some of these things might also come across as rude, even though it may be unintentional. Working in shared spaces can be tricky. If you are getting cold shouldered by your coworkers and you think it is for no apparent reasons, maybe you could check if you are violating any of the guidelines we have put together for you, right here in this post!

1. No loud phone calls – It is hard enough to be holed up in a cubicle for ten hours in a day (we are sorry if it’s even longer for you!). There are enough disruptions (the constant sound of the keyboard, the humming you can’t do anything about, the occasional giggle or laughter) one has to ignore and keep working, however, the tipping point is often the loud phone calls. Even if it is just for two minutes, and even if it is your mother, it is only proper manners to take the phone call outside and not disturb your co-workers.

2. Avoid personal talk and loud conversations – Even if you and your best-friend work one cubicle apart, conquer the urge to tell her/him who puked at the party last night or who broke up with whom. If you just can’t, then keep it to texting. Be assured, not many want to be a part of these conversations, and by default become a part of it because they unfortunately share the same working space. However, if you really do need to approach someone, make sure to keep your decibel levels really low so that you don’t disturb anyone.

3. Don’t use phrases which could hurt someone’s feelings – “Nigga” – not cool. “Biatch” – not cool. “Abey”, “Kutte”, “Kaminey” – cool in Sholay, not at work. While you may think you are just being friendly, the other person might be getting offended. Extremely informal lingo like the examples above is best to avoid at your work place.

4. Respect the privacy of your co-workers – Don’t stare into their monitor screens. Don’t insist on having conversations when they seem to be really busy. Even if they aren’t busy and look like they want to be left alone, take the hint. Don’t go asking everyone about who the people in the photographs on the cubicle wall, or their desks are. Remember there is a difference between being nosey and friendly, and the line is very fine and easy to blur. Take care to not toe the line!

5. Always ask before you borrow, or use – Even if you don’t mind if someone takes your stationery, your headphones, or a bite of the chocolate you left unattended for a second, do not assume everyone else to be the same. Always ask before you borrow something, if they aren’t there, wait for them to get back or don’t take it at all. While this may seem juvenile and kindergartenly to some, it is considered bad manners if you borrow things without the owner’s knowledge. Also, avoid eating at other people’s desks, even if they are not around. No one likes to start their day by cleaning up coffee stains or dried curry from their desk!

We hope what we shared in this post will help you take a step towards a more peaceful and productive shared working space environment. What have been the worst or best experiences you have had while working in a shared space? We would love to hear from you! Write to us or comment below. 🙂

Office Etiquette: 5 Topics Not Meant for Water Cooler Conversations

by sincera | Sep 6, 2015 | Communication, Office Etiquette, World of Work

Water Cooler Conversations (informal) : Used to refer to the type of informal conversation/chat among office workers that takes place around a water cooler/coffee dispenser or like.

We agree that at times, the informal water cooler conversations are what help us trudge through those boring days at work, which otherwise seem never-ending. However, in the interest of proper office etiquette, it is important to realize that there are certain things best not commented upon or spoken about at the water cooler. Here are 5 things to avoid for a water cooler conversation, and it is only professional to do so!

1. Gossip – It is true that gossip can prove to be chicken soup for the soul at times. However, there is a time and a place for it. And the water cooler isn’t exactly one of those places. It is extremely unprofessional to gossip about or with the people you work. If she gets the alimony or not is actually nobody’s business but hers!

2. Complaints – While you may be thinking the person you are opening up to is a dear and trusted colleague, don’t be surprised if you are proven wrong. It is always a bad idea to complain or bad mouth people who you may be having problems with at work. If you have a problem with someone who has been really affecting you, the best idea is to find a way to talk to the person directly about it.

3. Love Life Talk – Why would you even bother? Trust us on this, the other person probably doesn’t even care that you are going through a break up. Again, extremely unprofessional, and also, you will be known as the sissy thereafter. Whether a break up or the beautiful surprise date last night, what’s personal should always be kept personal and separate from what’s professional.

4. Religion – While this may be fodder for a lot of interesting and intellectually stimulating conversations, you will need to be extremely diplomatic while talking about religion and religious issues, lest you go the way of fundamentalism or touch an especially sensitive nerve. There are certain topics where it is virtually impossible to prove a right or wrong because of the several perspectives that exist, and religion is surely on of them.

5. Boss Bitching – We dedicated a whole separate category for it because it doesn’t belong wholly to gossip, neither to complaints. Once again, a tempting but dodgy subject. You never know who the boss’s minion is, and should be careful especially if you are a fresher. Some people do it just for fun, without any particular cause, which again is definitely unprofessional. But let us cut you some slack on this one, we do understand that at times, you really, really need to vent and the venting cannot wait! Just be careful who you vent to and where!

Your safest bet is to keep your conversations informal but not too informal. How you manage these things define how work place dynamics play out for you. If you thought the water cooler is a place where you can literally say anything, and it won’t affect you, well, you stand corrected. Avoiding the above will help you steer clear of unnecessary controversies. It is also worthy to remember that discussing anything which involves another person, especially if that person is another colleague is a very bad idea (in short, what we said about avoiding gossip). Now that we’ve spoken about what NOT to speak at the water cooler, we would love to hear from you about some of the best water cooler conversations you have had! Feel free to write to us, or to comment here!

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